@13spencer: Toys 'R Us pulled Breaking Bad figures because the characters sold drugs, but continue to sell Darth Vader ones, and he blew up a planet.
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@david8hughes: [first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up
@juicymorsel: Yesterday I taught my boss to play Angry Birds. Today, she "couldn't make it in to work." This is called managing upwards, people.
@kibblesmith: Hey "La La Land" remember when you gave us that fake happy ending and then took it away How's it feel