@LittleMissZesty: Transform chocolate into a balanced meal by eating it standing on one leg WITHOUT falling over. Chocolate yoga: it's the next big thing.
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@SteveKoehler22: No matter how spicy your sex life is ... If he's a two-thymer; cumin in that ginger Rosemary, my sage advice ... would bay to leaf him.
@Playing_Dad: Cop: Wife shot the husband for bothering her while reading a book Sargent: You arrested her? C: No S: Why? C: She's not done with the book
@MandiAtRandom: If he calls you clingy, move in immediately without warning and decorate his bed with 57 throw pillows
@aligarchy: *hand touches hot stove* BRAIN: GET IT OFF NOW NOW *mouth eats hot food* BRAIN: CHEW FASTER. JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. DON'T BE A QUITTER