@CornOnTheGoblin: [travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over
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@joejwest: WRITER: A drifter & a rich lady fall in love WALT DISNEY: Can they be dogs? WR: A woman steals a couple's baby WD: Can the baby be 101 dogs?
@hopiecan: how terrible do you think Maria von Trapp's life had to be that she included "doorbells" on her list of favorite things
@jake_likes_naps: [at bar] Gee, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse *nearby horse slams down his whisky* COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY *horse throws the 1st punch*
@kelkulus: Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a "romcom" so I'm going to assume she means "Roman Combat" and put on Gladiator.