@tastefactory: *tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*
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@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.
@girlontapas: How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer.
@noog: Jesus: I have to die because of sin God: Yes Jesus: Which you created as punishment God: Yes Jesus: For eating an apple God: Yes Jesus: No
@egg_dog: good prank: sneak into someone's house every night over a year and replace thier toilet with a slightly larger one until it fills tthe room