@thejamietighe: Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
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@NewDadNotes: Friend: the weather’s been super muggy lately Weather: [pulls knife] I said shut up and gimme your wallets Me: so muggy
@_SetTheHook_: I'm just gonna put an egg under my kid's pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must've went out drinking the night before.