@thejamietighe: Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
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@SteveSuckington: Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss
@joejwest: [on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]
@findmydolls: 78, 68, 77, 69, 78, 68, 75, 65, 75, 67, 79, 60 My mom & me, changing the thermostat behind each other's backs.
@ShivangiJha08: 9y/o~poking finger on my face. Me(yelling)~dont touch me with your finger Later~glad he got loophole now what to do with a foot on my face