@thejamietighe: Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
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@WVUPRT: Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] "Did you say single?"
@H0TMessBarbie: I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore.
@thatcarlygirl: What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog
@BubbleNuggets2u: I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it