@daemonic3: Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers' carryon bags, but they went over their heads
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tigersgoroooar: It sucks when an album has a real chill sad song and you’re like oh yeahh and then the next song is crazy loud it makes me wanna eat knives.
@LionJenkins: [First day at New Job] New Boss: When in Rome do as the Romans you know? <Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry>
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
@thenatewolf: *showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!