@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.
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@Sal0630: Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium
@KeetPotato: [undoes GFs bra first time] "wow have you been practicing?" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances]