@KevinFarzad: *tries to quietly eat carrot sticks during your funeral*
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@longwall26: Pretty funny that turtles are always in uniform. It's like lighten up, turtles. The war is over.
@ThingsDrakeDo: A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Yeah," Drake sighs as he keeps walking. "She was."
@SamuelHLowe: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?