@KevinFarzad: *tries to quietly eat carrot sticks during your funeral*
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@noog: Everyone’s all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman’s fighting Superman in 2016.
@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
@nachosarah: if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine