@simoncholland: *tries to wave goodbye to the genie without spilling my 3 giant milkshakes*
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@maughammom: Me: "You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!" Grandma: "Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."
@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.
@STEELERS1972: When my laptop asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out.