@NakedHangover: Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
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@boring_as_heck: Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem *car honk* he didn't have access to the record scratch sound effect
@abbycohenwl: -Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!
@juliussharpe: Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack.
@internetluke: *gets on 1 knee* Jenny... "OMG" *places hand on heart and starts crying* "This is great!" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack
@Swishergirl24: Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?
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