@CleverGirl85: Trolling my FB friends by commenting "Looking good ;)" on solo pics of their husbands
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@CalebTenenbaum: If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something...
@TheAlexNevil: At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think "I wish I could be a shark".
@thesulk: Pizza Hut ad: "Do you want the same old same old, or do you want the original?" Think about these words.