@nsterdan: True embarrassment lies within your first email address
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@hoedeehoe: (1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators
@TheIronSherk: *pretty girl walks by and doesn't make eye contact* She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1
@sarcasticmommy4: Thoughts & prayers for my son who thought his phone was charging overnight only to find he must go to school on 6%.