@stevezorz: Trump's gonna be sooo mad when he finds out that China realized building a Great Wall didn't keep foreigners out 400 years before he did.
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@Mi_SSbehaved: My son touched my leg & said "so soft!" Then he asked for his IPad back & I gave it to him. Girls aren't exactly rocket science, guys.
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy.
@ChipKellysBalls: Would bet there's a math equation that can tell how many kids a person has by measuring the amount of Cheerios on the floor of their car ...
@CrazyUncIeJoe: I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."