@stevezorz: Trump's gonna be sooo mad when he finds out that China realized building a Great Wall didn't keep foreigners out 400 years before he did.
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@CulturedRuffian: ODE TO TWITTER 🎶Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder where you are, Twitter changed you to a heart, I don't think they're very smart🎶
@Go2Slp: How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed
@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard.