@truegritrumble: *trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DannyEarl: Personally, I think Lance Armstrong should keep his trophies and awards. Last time I rode a bike on drugs I ended up in my neighbors bushes
@GinAndJif: Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?
@enigmaticmess: Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes