@truegritrumble: *trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you "work in mysterious ways" and see how far it gets you.
@JediGigi: Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up.