@GensPlace: Trying to explain to H that when the doctor said he can have one red wine a day, he didn't mean bottle.
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@SassyTxGirl83: Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard..... Pillow fight
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana* "This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."
@Carbosly: When my boss asks me if I can "take a stab at this", I always hope she'll point to that coworker we all hate.