@philandher96: Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce.
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@er0tikka: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn.
@Dutch_50: Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.