@FKACornshucks: TT: At sunday dinner I like to perform an impromptu puppet show with the roast chicken. This week it's my interpretation of Die Hard 2.
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@Book_Krazy: Interviewer: Any questions? Me: On the sitcom Friends, how come the only couch at the coffee shop was always available for them?
@arealliveghost: if I were in a comic book I would never wear clothes, I would just constantly scream a huge speech bubble over my body
@collinwithtwoLs: *cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*
@Ms612: Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?