@FKACornshucks: TT: At sunday dinner I like to perform an impromptu puppet show with the roast chicken. This week it's my interpretation of Die Hard 2.
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@deeeebag: I'm lost at Costco but everyone here looks like my dad. Just gonna pick the one with the best groceries and start a new life I guess.
@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.
@jwoodham: You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird.
@Parkerlawyer: I just passed a beer truck on the highway. "Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?" -My 6 yr old son, Miller