@Laser_Cat: Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
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@pleatedjeans: [approaches cute girl in library] Yo babe are you Jamaican bc you're Jamaican a lot of noise please keep it down people are trying to read
@moooooog35: You know the person in exercise videos that's doing the easy version of everything? I'm the guy behind that person eating chips.
@ArfMeasures: GUY: Welcome to Assumption Club. The first rule is ME: Yeah I think we got it thanks pal GUY: [under breath] Holy shit this guy's good
@SCbchbum: Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren’t rolling yet.