@Bunnydurden: Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
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@thepunningman: Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about
@BigFatNothing: (in a rowboat with 6 starving people) "I think you mean "WHOM should we eat first"
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" I'm always hungry "That's not what I-" *takes out a cake* Also, I don't like to share