@GrizzGriffiths: Turns out buying that meth lab on craigslist was illegal
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@MarkAgee: My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam.
@AmericanGent69: Reasons I work out. 1) I don't wanna be bit by a vampire and spend eternity out of shape and double chinned. 2) I guess to be healthy
@Bluestmoon_: How to make microwave popcorn: 2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped. 2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE.