@thatUPSdude: Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.
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@DistractedMomma: Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can't leave messages now. That's the kind of genius I am.
@_SingleBabyMama: You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee.
@cornlog: So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday.