@Boleyngirly: Turns out I can hold my breath with a pillow over my face way longer than an old person. Innocent mistake..
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@4SLars: Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon
@SlayerSays: You can't make blanket statements & expect people to take you seriously, but since I hate clowns I'm pretty sure everyone else does too.
@hardlyrelevant: (pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one “What was your favorite part?” I’d have to say the Peace
@OtherDanOBrien: MOSES: Cool thinkpiece GOD: It's a list of commandments. Not everything is a thinkpiece! Jesus Christ MOSES: Who? GOD: Oops, sorry. Spoilers