@Boleyngirly: Turns out I can hold my breath with a pillow over my face way longer than an old person. Innocent mistake..
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@RyanAndrewMitch: I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME.
@thevickster_sa: When your unicorn and dragon start battling each other, it's time to lay off the Ambien
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?