@ScottLinnen: Turns out telling a friend "you're giving off a weird vibe tonight" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire
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@AnnietheNanny1: If you're not going to offer booze at your wedding, at least have the decency to provide a wifi password.
@Nahdude83: *puts sunglasses on a watermelon* *punches watermelon* "WHERE ARE ALL THE DRUGS!" *slams hands down* "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DID THEM ALL?!"
@RidiculousSheri: Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15