@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Why do cars have cup holders? Me: For cups. 6: But you can't drink and drive.

@WarrenHolstein: With great power comes great electricity bill.

@thenatewolf: Seeing the leaves change in autumn always reminds me of my Grandpa. He died falling out of a tree too.

@SequelsWeWant: Pet Cemetery 3: People get tired of resurrecting pets and relatives. Somebody buries dinosaur bones. Jurassic Park ensues.

@darksidedeb: I like my men well-rounded and sweet and rich and available and covered in sprinkles wait a minute... that's donuts I like donuts