@AristotlesNZ: Turns out the easiest way to piss of a vegan is to refer to their veganism as their "eating disorder".
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@Donna_McCoy: You think a person loves you and then they up and bring a grocery store cake to your birthday party.
@Jandalize: Falling asleep at work didn’t get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble.
@GibJimson: If you say "I knew you were going to say that" enough. You can start billing people for psychic readings.
@ThisOneSayz: Unlike in Westworld, "freeze all motor functions" does not stop my 3yo from trying to wash my phone in the toilet.