@NolaChef504: Turns out there isn't a single sexy explanation for having a fork in your bed.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]
@Beatonm5: Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves
@AudreyPorne: [2.13am] me: when cows die do they become cow ghosts? imagine being haunted by a cow ghost. him: *deletes my number*