@NolaChef504: Turns out there isn't a single sexy explanation for having a fork in your bed.
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@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids
@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
@IGotsSmarts: I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
@naazihah: Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas.