@StellaRtwot: Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother.
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@mattZillaaaa: So apparently a neighborhood watch is not watching bad stuff happen to your neighbor's home & then taking a nap
@killazilla: HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister
@robfee: Imagine being the kid that got cut from the team on Air Bud because they had to make a roster spot for a golden retriever.