@StellaRtwot: Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother.
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@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
@AndyAsAdjective: "I" before "E", except after "C". That's an efficient rule. Very efficient. Yep...efficient.
@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.