@HatfieldAnne: TV chef warns against “over vegetablizing” a sandwich. I lean in closely, hoping he’s also against “under buttering” everything else.
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@poopiest: "haha this costume party is great" "sir PLEASE get off the table" "cool librarian costume" *sprays silly string* "hey dude nice police costu
@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."
@Ivsy01: Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses.