@HatfieldAnne: TV chef warns against “over vegetablizing” a sandwich. I lean in closely, hoping he’s also against “under buttering” everything else.
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@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@ArfMeasures: [Looking at plans for building Rome] ME: How long will it take u? BUILDER [shrugs] A day at most ME: Are u sure?! B: Yeah easy, trust me