@MaraWritesStuff: Twilight is the literary World War I: you thought this was as bad as it could get, but then WWII/Fifty Shades happened.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber
@ArtConDee: Can you just bear with me for a moment? *grabs salmon out of stream. bites head off. hibernates.*
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I have never seen this before: You have no bones!" Me: "Really? Could the x-ray be broken?" Doctor: "Ignore what I just said."