@DamiensGate: Twinkle twinkle line of coke, you're the reason why I'm broke. :(
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@seethenare: age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I "slept funny"
@krustythe_klown: The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.