@SwanieChicken: Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Schmoodles: I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage.
@_ElvishPresley_: Priest: may God rest his soul *casket begins to lower* *I start clapping* *everyone looks at me* Me: sorry was that not the end of it
@ruinedpicnic: parent: why did you do this to my child willy wonka: well you see they tried to eat some chocolate on a tour of a chocolate factory they won
@mommy_cusses: *Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* "It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"