@SwanieChicken: Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?
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@Crunch11b: About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection.
@hg47: On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men. Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire.
@roggyie: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.
@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.