@Lunatic_times: Twitter is the witness protection program from family on Facebook.
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@Dawn_M_: Look sad dragging a kite on the ground at the park and sometimes people will let you join their picnic.
@DurtMcHurtt: [first day as a pharmacist] CUSTOMER: the antacid I took isn't working. ME: *leans in close* that's cuz you're not an ant..
@fmanjoo: In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt people and it's not two spaces after a period.