@YourDailyGroan: Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest.
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@_Kim_Jongun: The rest of the world should fear our military. We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer.
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: "You been drinkin?" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny "You're free to go.." Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?
@BlindChow: "Shotgun!" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane.