@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
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@joejwest: [restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN
@seanscrap: Got busted for shoplifting once in Canada and had to deal with their whole irritating Good Cop/Great Cop routine.
@StillJessLS: Damn you Jehovah's, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I'll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We'll see who converts who
@NoticablyBacon: Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single