@iNusku: Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
@wineoclock39: Sometimes I shock myself with smart things I say. Other times, I struggle to get out of my car with the seatbelt on.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Apparently "Which one?" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me "What are your intentions with my daughter?"