@iNusku: Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.
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@rockymomax: DATE: this bread is dry. you should talk to the manager ME: ok *waves over manager* MANAGER: can I help you? ME: tell her to shut up about the bread
@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.
@electrolemon: everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)