@Thrill_Tweeter: Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family.
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@Vodkantots: My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume.
@prodnose: Just thought of way to discourage teenage smoking. Instead of saying "Cancer" on boxes replace it with the word "Acne".
@mattselman: If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats.