@Bacon_Ball: Twitter was down for a couple of hours but I didn't panic at all. I dialed 911 and calmly told them "people are about to die". Then Hung up.
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@angibangie: *Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food.
@briancthayer: [food naming committee] ... Ok. Cow? - Beef Ground up? - Burger Great. Pig? - Pork Baked & sliced? - Ham Super! Deer? - Venison Fish? - Fish
@bourgeoisalien: Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: "Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"