@llvvzz: Twitter: "Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican"
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@radtoria: OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]
@hippieswordfish: HEAD OF THE NATIONAL WEATHER SEVICE: so how will we name all these hurricanes? GARY, WHOS BEEN DIVORCED 31 TIMES: i have an idea
@EJGomez: guy: my dog just died girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog
@CoopSoSarc: Walking out the door, my daughter tells me she can't wait to see Ariel with the crabs. Now I'm questioning which section I bought that DVD.