@pinupteacher: Two people have knocked on my door this morning so I did what any grown adult would do and hid.
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@Reverend_Scott: *bark* "What's that Lassie?" *bark bark* "Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?" *bark* "Ooh, dinnertime."
@slaughthie: My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc.
@KayRants: Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: I can't believe my wife left me. I should of treated her better. Me *should have