@DothTheDoth: Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there's history.
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@Qckhd: Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun.
@PJisBeast: I used to sanitize my son's bottles and Lysol his toys. Then I caught him chewing on the dog's tail.
@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
@LlamaInaTux: TONIGHT ON HOUSE HUNTERS *extremely Australian accent* This here house is one of the most deadly in the world. Imma poke it with a stick