@PengaloPie: Two things all artists have:
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@yenniwhite: The hardest part of parenting is sharing the chocolate chip cookies. And your heart walking around outside your body. But mainly cookies.
@kyry5: At a business meeting: "How about SuperCupid?" "No, expectations will be too high" "GreatCupid?" "Lower" "Uhhh, OKCupid?" "Brilliant"
@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@Rollmaninoz: [pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no