@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months
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@blondecalamity: Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME.
@freypalm: College guy: [massaging head] Oh man I got so trashed last night. Raccoon: [massaging stomach with his little raccoon paws] Me too man.
@MartaEffing: I'm sorry I broke your finger, but seriously, what did you expect would happen when you tried to eat the last two fries off my plate?