@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months
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@truegritrumble: ME: I hit my neighbors car. CAT: I killed my last 4 owners. ME: YOU CAN TALK! CAT: ... ME: Wait, what did you just say? CAT: *blinks*
@TheTweetOfGod: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - A man who owned other men.
@thenoahkinsey: When someone at the gym asks if I'm "using that equipment", I say "No, my love for it is real." To date, I'm the only one to find that funny