@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith
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@heyevergreen: if you wear a bikini top instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will think you just went swimming which is athletic not lazy
@sixfootcandy: I carry around a fog machine so I can make a dramatic entrance every time I enter a room.
@BrandandCo: I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with
@jjhartinger: Just when I thought I had my life together. I found my missing shoe in the microwave.