@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith
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@BoogTweets: Me: *Posing nude for the first time* Photographer: Absolutely stunning, but inappropriate for your drivers license tbh
@LoveNLunchmeat: Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz "we don't have time to get arrested" if you're looking for a parenting role model.