@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith
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@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: When speaking to children I always end every sentence with "...or else you'll die. " - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool.
@KeithSantagato: #WhyDoPeopleThinkItsOkayTo replace letters in words with numbers....well now i don't feel like reading the math equation you just sent me
@AdamBroud: [Garden of Eden] EVE: If I eat the apple I get to leave? GOD: Get to? ADAM SANDLER: Eatin that appley bappodoodaly EVE: Yes, get to.
@SummerRay: I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.