@famouscrab: u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question
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@CatherineLMK: "Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair." -actual message from my mom
@Reverend_Scott: Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!
@jwoodham: Most people don't know this, but the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they lost their damn minds.
@girlontapas: My Cinderella story is backward. I started out a princess. Got drunk and lost a shoe when I met a handsome guy. Now I scrub the floors.