@weinerdog4life: Ugh, I hate wearing this towel while my wife washes my cape.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@turtledumplin: I won't slam on my brakes if someone's tailgating me...I will, however, take my foot off the accelerator and slowly come to a stop.
@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
@Home_Halfway: BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired