@Brianhopecomedy: Ugh, I may have lost my "World's Best Dad" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went.
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@BuckyIsotope: BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*
@InternetHippo: me: trump is a thin skinned psychopath who will destroy the world at the slightest provocation also me: let’s make him mad lol
@wickedsuga: Boy giraffe: You wanna? Girl giraffe: Ok, but kiss my neck first. Boy giraffe: But Babe, we only have 3 hours!