@Brianhopecomedy: UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@welfarehoe: Hubs: You didn't do anything today did you? Me: I did the dishes. Hubs: There was only one. Me: Fine I did THE dish. Happy?
@KKAlThani: I bet when Cheetahs race & one of them cheats, the other one goes like "Man, you're such a Cheetah!" & they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
@rose24_em: 21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password.
@2tonbug: I hate when I'm in a restaurant bathroom, and I run out of toilet paper. Like my dinner guests are gonna be scared of HALF a mummy costume