@Brianhopecomedy: UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home.
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@Weezie76: I always carry bananas in my purse in case I'm ever chased by bad guys... ...or a giant gorilla. ~Super Mario's mom probably
@ericonederful: Fellas, If you kill a spider while you're at her place, congratulations. You will be having sex. P.S. Bring a spider.
@trojansauce: ME:*lying*omg i have an identical twin too DATE:wow we should all meet up [cut to us at a house of mirrors] DATE: your brother is quiet