@NervousJr: "Ugh, you're so obsessed with me."
Boss: "I just asked why you're twenty minutes late?"
@ThinkingSavage: 'I know a black person'
- White people
@misfarber: Shouldn't the sea be called an isntland?
Sir, I don't know how you keep getting in here, but again, this is not what a think tank does
@Tbone7219: According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
@Molly_Kats: I'm doing my own taxes so I'll probably be in jail this time next year.
@bencoffeehall: Living in Switzerland wouldn't be so bad. The flag is a plus.