@NervousJr: "Ugh, you're so obsessed with me."
Boss: "I just asked why you're twenty minutes late?"
@IamEveryDayPpl: My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed.
@i_wantMyBiitch: I gently slid her panties to the side....
so that I cud fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.
@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@HenpeckedHal: Soaking the dishes overnight, or as I like to call it, "not doing the dishes."
@sfreeze6: A boycott is just a smaller version of a manbed.