@PinkCamoTO: It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."

@ItsAndyRyan: 4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby

@Lerky: I'm really worried Justin Timberlake is going to have me naked by the end of this song.

@Rlpihl: Oh yeah I was in a gang in high school! Well not like a real gang, it was more of a Trigonometry Club. But we still flashed sines.

@LaziestCanine: Homeless man: Change please Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous