@PinkCamoTO: It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
@ItsAndyRyan: 4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo
Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby
@Lerky: I'm really worried Justin Timberlake is going to have me naked by the end of this song.
@Rlpihl: Oh yeah I was in a gang in high school! Well not like a real gang, it was more of a Trigonometry Club. But we still flashed sines.
@LaziestCanine: Homeless man: Change please
Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me
Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous
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