@ElleOhHell: "Uhm, EXCUSE me, my eyes are out HERE." -- Hammerhead sharks
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@JediGigi: Me: Ugh I’ve gained so much weight Him: It’s ok, babe Me: [my eyes turn black as the sky darkens; a swarm of locusts encircle us; a priest faints and a demonic voice exits my mouth uttering a simple sound] Oh?
@Smooheed: My husband told me I was beautiful for the first time tonight Sure, he was drunk and using a Scooby Doo voice but I'll take it
@TheTweetOfGod: Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
@UnFitz: Me: Accept your flaws. You’ll feel better. It worked for me. Her: You accepted your flaws? Me: No. I accepted your flaws.